discovering real friends

If I had written about God´s goals in our difficulty, just out of my own reasoning and not using Scripture and biblical examples as a guide, I would have never thought of this one.  But having seen this example in God´s Word, I recall that I have experienced the same thing several times in my life.

Goal # 6 TO SIFT OUR FRIENDSHIPS
That´s right.  Sometimes God allows adversity into our life to help us and/or motivate us to pick and keep the right friends!  Here are a few principles laid out in Scripture to guide our choice of close relationships.

• God wants us to “mix” with the lost of the world so we can witness to them of Christ.
• He warns us about having close relationships with the ungodly. 

Psalm 1:1-2 NKJV   1 Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; 2 But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night.

• He wants our close friendships, the ones where there is mutual influence, to be with those who honor Him.
• Adversity helps us identify and build good friendships.

A couple of biblical examples jump to my mind.  While Joseph was in prison, both the butler and the baker wanted to be friends with Joseph.  Joseph had authority and an obvious way to know the future.  The baker of course was hanged, but the butler was restored to Pharaoh’s service.  However, the butler forgot all about his “friend” Joseph as soon as he was out of jail and out of trouble.

David had a good friend in Jonathan, the son of Saul.  Even when Jonathan´s own father was trying to kill David, Jonathan was a faithful friend.

In both of these cases, the quality of a friendship was revealed during troublesome times.

Proverbs 17:17 NKJV   A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.

You have probably experienced this as many times as I have.  Many years ago, in another church (so you are not trying to figure out who), I had two Christian brothers that I called friends, call them Bob and Joe. A third brother in the Lord said to me one day, “Bro. Mike, Joe is trying to undermine your ministry behind your back.”  I said to him, “Brother I appreciate your trying to help me, but I am confident you are mistaken.  You have just misunderstood something. Joe wouldn't do that.”
I went to Joe and told him what was said and told him that I had defended him.  Joe thanked me, and told me that I was correct.  He had not undermined me and that he would never do that.  I felt good about my friendship with Joe.

A year or two later when I was going through a time of great personal adversity, Joe betrayed me.  This time written evidence revealed clearly what he had done. There was no question; and when confronted, Joe admitted it this time.  Interestingly, during the course of dealing with this, new evidence surfaced that showed me that what I had been told previously, really was true.

The first time, I was fooled.  God showed me the truth in a period of adversity.
And what about my other friend, Bob?  He remained a true and loyal friend.  And in the time of trouble, he stuck closer than a brother.

Learning that someone you count as a friend is not really your friend is a bitter pill to swallow.  But the sooner we learn the truth, the less will be consequences and pain. Learning that a friend will stick by you, even in difficult times, encourages the soul and makes glad the heart!

​God sometimes allows adversity to reveal the truth about our friendships.